I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hello my rib-scented angel!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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