P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
