I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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