i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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