I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
