I heard we made out
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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