The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
