That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
