i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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