here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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