just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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