peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
