The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There r osticjed everywhere
It was like getting head from an anaconda
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
