Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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