Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
