PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
