A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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