what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
there is glitter all over my balls
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