remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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