I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
