A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
