Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
