the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
