At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
