yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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