Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
