Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
