fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
