i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
