at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
