I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
