I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
