Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
