There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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