I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
