You just made me feel so damn special
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It's just like the Real World with babies
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
