He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
