I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
