I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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