are you still at the devil's house?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
40s are totally the cure
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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