The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize