We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
