I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just cut my nipple shaving
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
