I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize