Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
