I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
