I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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