i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
