It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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