Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize