Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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