Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He passed out mid-signature
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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