Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize