Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
