At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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