I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
