I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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