there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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