YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
